I just realized I never posted my thoughts about Thor: The Dark World.  Or Prometheus.  I really need to catch up on these things.  I wrote up a good-sized rant about Prometheus way back when I first saw it, but for the life of me I cannot find the file.  The last thing I want to do is sit through that fetid pile of bitter disappointment again, so let’s start with Thor 2, only let’s retitle it Thor: The Meh World.  Or better yet, Thor: Meh Meh Meh.

This has got to be the worst film of the Marvel Cinematic Universe thus far.  And I’m saying that because I only have vague wisps of memories of The Incredible Hulk.

Okay, where to begin?  Natalie Portman: boring.  Kat Dennings, the #1 scene stealer of the first Thor film: had all of her scenes stolen from her.  Stellan Skarsgard: totally wasted, in more ways than one.

I was excited about seeing this film because the first film was such a blast and I was stoked that they signed Christopher Eccelston as the baddie.  But nope, he was utterly wasted too.  WTF?!?

I’m holding onto hope there is some sort of director’s cut lurking out there that will eventually work its way onto disc.  It feels like there were huge chunks of the story that were missing.  I heard rumors that a significant portion of Malekith’s backstory was left on the cutting room floor.  That’s a damned shame, because I think it would’ve seriously improved the film.

Honestly, I really would’ve rather watched a two hour farting contest between Thor and the Warriors Three than have to sit through this so-called Marvel Cinematic extravaganza.  That would’ve been a lot more enjoyable.  Imagine the campfire sequence from Blazing Saddles redone with Asgardians.

At least Idris Elba still kicks ass as Heimdall.

 

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