Archive for December, 2015

Spectre

I’m going to preface this by saying, long time James Bond fan here.  I’ve loved 007 movies ever since I was a kid.  Hell, I can even find redeeming features in such steaming piles of poo as A View To A Kill.

With all that in mind ….

This isn’t truly a review of Spectre, cuz I couldn’t bleedin’ make it through the movie.

I tried watching it today.  I really did try.

The halfway spectacular pre-credits sequence was completely ruined by the horrible song and tentacle-porn-infused opening credits.  I gave up at that point.

I do have to admit that I was pleased to see a return to Goldfinger/Thunderball era green screen work during the helicopter sequence, and I laughed out loud when the title sequence started flashing back to Craig’s previous Bond films.  Made me seriously wish I was watching Casino Royale instead.  That’s a very very bad feeling to have fourteen minutes into the movie.

Honestly, Sam Smith’s choice of inflections and vocal range are what I would expect out of a 30-something-year-old neckbeard’s wailing lamentations that his mother just punched him square in the nutsack.

I’ll revisit this and watch it all the way through at some point … but I really feel the need to rewatch A View To A Kill first.

 

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I’m Not Shy

Y’know … if you’re going to be getting it off in public … and I happen to BE in public … I’m going to watch you.  So you shouldn’t bother acting surprised when you see me.  This goes out to the driver of the silver Buick with Illinois plates X71 8313 parked on east Chicago Avenue at 9:35pm tonight.  Considering the bare naked walrus undulating on top of you … man … you could do SO much better.  But still, this was a great birthday present so thumbs up to you, guy.