I’m going to preface this by saying, long time James Bond fan here.  I’ve loved 007 movies ever since I was a kid.  Hell, I can even find redeeming features in such steaming piles of poo as A View To A Kill.

With all that in mind ….

This isn’t truly a review of Spectre, cuz I couldn’t bleedin’ make it through the movie.

I tried watching it today.  I really did try.

The halfway spectacular pre-credits sequence was completely ruined by the horrible song and tentacle-porn-infused opening credits.  I gave up at that point.

I do have to admit that I was pleased to see a return to Goldfinger/Thunderball era green screen work during the helicopter sequence, and I laughed out loud when the title sequence started flashing back to Craig’s previous Bond films.  Made me seriously wish I was watching Casino Royale instead.  That’s a very very bad feeling to have fourteen minutes into the movie.

Honestly, Sam Smith’s choice of inflections and vocal range are what I would expect out of a 30-something-year-old neckbeard’s wailing lamentations that his mother just punched him square in the nutsack.

I’ll revisit this and watch it all the way through at some point … but I really feel the need to rewatch A View To A Kill first.

 

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