A horrible terrorist attack decapitates the US government and leaves Jack Bauer as President.  And he’s completely and utterly unprepared.

That’s an extremely intriguing premise.  And the pilot episode was extremely well crafted, for the most part.  I respect television shows that make me yell at the TV in a good way, and the ending of the pilot did exactly that for me.  It left me wanting more, and wanting more NOW, making me wish head over heels that they had gone with a two hour pilot.  Plus I was hoping against hope that someone would work the line “I’m gonna need a hacksaw” into the script.

And then the second episode aired.  Ugh.  So much for that.

I had two problems with the pilot: 1) I find it very hard to believe that horrendous amount of damage could be done to the capitol building by any means other than an airstrike.  And they made it clear that it was not an airstrike.  2) I really do not care about Maggie Q’s subplot.  At all.  I really do not care about Maggie Q’s character.  At all.  You don’t need to make the investigation into the attack a significant part of the show.  Let’s just focus on the hell that Kiefer Sutherland’s character is going through and the hell of how his family reacts to being completely and utterly uprooted.  But no.  We have to add the police procedural aspect to the show, and we have to have the main police procedural character moping over a potential loss.  Sorry, not interested, don’t care.  At all.  Why do we even have to have this B story?

And episode two now has the wife and kids getting annoying, so the “how the family reacts” aspect has suddenly become grating.  In spite of the fact that we’ve got Deirdre from Ronin here as Jack Bauer’s wife.

And then we come to episode three: “The White House has just been hacked!”  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!  Oh dear … that’s actually funny … but not in any sort of good way.  It’s funny in an oh-dear-the-writers-think-they-actually-know-something-about-computer-security-but-that’s-not-really-how-any-of-that-works way.  “Usually a frequency analysis should pinpoint any infected modalities” … what in the holy FUCK is that supposed to mean?!?

“Mommy, what are these?”  “Oh, those are just headache pills, sweetie.”  “I guess Leo gets a lot of headaches.”  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

“Look.  The greatest act of terrorism was just perpetrated on our soil, and I need to know what happened.  And if we don’t play dirty we don’t stand a chance.”  Okay … so much for the 4th Amendment.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

And Maggie Q gets mopier.  Lovely.  Nope, don’t need that.  Not at all.

The only good thing about this series is the fact that they included Kumar (Kal Penn), who was actually part of the Obama administration for a while.  That attempts to lend some semblance of credence to this … but … not enough.  Not nearly enough.

Y’know, I was really looking forward to this, especially with Kiefer Sutherland coming back to TV, but I gave it three eps, and now I’d much rather be watching season two of BrainDead.