Yeah … well … I read books too, so I might as well complain about some of them.

As I think I mentioned before, I’m a sucker for a zombie apocalypse. I stumbled across comments in various fora recommending Brian Keene’s novel The Rising. The few descriptions I read intrigued me, since Keene’s zombies are intelligent and can talk, reason, and use weapons and equipment.

If you want to remain 100% spoiler-free, stop reading.

Argh. What an execrably-written waste of paper. Little did I know this is not a zombie apocalypse so much as a demonic possession apocalypse (caused by a particle accelerator experiment?!?). I forced myself to finish The Rising only to find that the book does not have any sort of ending. It. Just. Stops. The Rising was apparently written only to hook fools like me into reading its sequel, City Of The Dead, which is just as bad.

Why did I keep reading them, then?

Mistake #1: Thinking that, as highly recommended as The Rising seemed to be, at some point in the story the writing had to get better. It never did.

Mistake #2: Thinking that, in spite of the horrible writing, there must be some sort of redeeming payoff at the end of the story. Nope.

Mistake #3: Thinking that Keene can’t possibly be tying Biblical zombies … er … sorry, demons … into the old whacked-out fears about CERN’s Large Hadron Collider? Yep.

If you are interested in more precise criticisms of The Rising, go to Amazon’s page for the book, click on the 1 star reviews, and look for one titled “I only made it 9 pages…see how far you can make it!” by J. Calton. It’s a spot on itemization of the crap that I had to wade through.

The only two positive things that I took away from reading The Rising & City Of The Dead are: 1) they’ve motivated me to start writing again, because if books this bad can get published then damn near anything should be publishable; and 2) thanks to my library I did not have to waste any money to read them.